50 Cent feat. Olivia – Candy Shop

First Hit #1: March 5, 2005

I’ve been unkind to 50 Cent before, mostly because he’s terrible. With Candy Shop, he remains terrible, though here he’s contrasted with Olivia, who is actually putting in a modicum of effort and makes him sound even worse. Candy Shop probably was doomed to terrible, a barely disguised sex metaphor over a beat that has been heard before, but 50 Cent does not care at all. Same mush mouthed, lazy delivery, here with lyrics that try for innuendo briefly before just dropping that pretext and getting explicit. It would have been a boring song anyway without 50 on the track, but he’s just not very good at his job, and as a result you have a lazy sex song that, even in seduction, makes sex sound like a chore akin to taking out the garbage.

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One Response to 50 Cent feat. Olivia – Candy Shop

  1. RBerman says:

    The whole bowdlerizing thing gets weird on this song. Here are some of the bleeped words: nympho, lick, stick, mouth, touch, spot, behind, grind.

    This song topped the charts for nine weeks, just as Mario did immediately before. That’s just one week less than the combined total of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” (seven weeks) and “Beat It” (three weeks). At the peak of Beatlemania, the Beatles spent 17 weeks at #1 in 1964, and 12 weeks in 1965. The #1 slot was never an awesome predictor of cultural importance in either the short or long term, but when mediocre songs get such stagnatorily long rides at the top, the value of the chart falls into even more disrepute.

    So, granted it’s not a good song. What put and kept it on top? The Mid-Eastern ostinato riff? Was it the Eminem connection? His physique and street-hardened reputation? The widely stereo-panned double-track rap vocal? Olivia Longott’s sporadic and repetitive melodic line? The way the woman views the relationship as a financial arrangement? Bribery? What?

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