First Hit #1: March 5, 2005
I’ve been unkind to 50 Cent before, mostly because he’s terrible. With Candy Shop, he remains terrible, though here he’s contrasted with Olivia, who is actually putting in a modicum of effort and makes him sound even worse. Candy Shop probably was doomed to terrible, a barely disguised sex metaphor over a beat that has been heard before, but 50 Cent does not care at all. Same mush mouthed, lazy delivery, here with lyrics that try for innuendo briefly before just dropping that pretext and getting explicit. It would have been a boring song anyway without 50 on the track, but he’s just not very good at his job, and as a result you have a lazy sex song that, even in seduction, makes sex sound like a chore akin to taking out the garbage.